And Life Goes On...

I think the one word the sums up my ability to be where I am now is “Mommy”. My life has been a whirlwind of chaos and disruption the past three months. I welcomed my beautiful baby boy Liam Jonathan Bortree on June 12, 2013, and he is a gift from God. I believe God gave me Liam as his personal gift to me, especially in lieu of what was about to occur in my life ahead. I became an official single mother in the beginning of July (July 12^th to be exact), and I am finally finding my bearings, but it is still an ongoing process. I don’t think anyone expects their life to drastically change in the blink of an eye, but it does and the best you can do is hang on. I have many people ask me if I saw a sign or if my marriage was going badly and my response is simple, not enough to constitute my spouse abandoning my children and I. I think marriage is both hard and trying at times, but love and special moments outweigh everything. No I did not have the perfect marriage, but I also never in my wildest dreams imagined the events that took place this summer. Needless to say I became proactive to help myself stay above water and to be able to parent my children.

 I truly think that hardest part of this scenario is watching my four year old little girl suffer through the changes. It is very unfair for my children to have to experience any turmoil. 

Unfortunately I think I fell victim to hoping someone could change when they never had the ability to be selfless and responsible. I have found a seed of strength inside me that is growing gradually every day, and helping me regain my footing. My heartache and sorrow take a back seat since I am first and foremost a mother. I think all good mothers know how we put ourselves last because our amazing children come first. I have found this truth to be helpful and burdening. It is hard to know how to deal with so many of your own emotions and separate them from parenting your children. I know I will get through this, and I am especially thankful to my amazing parents and my brother and his wife. I have the best family by far, and I am thankful each and every day for them.  

I wish I could say that I am all strength and positive feelings but I do have days when my sorrow and heartache get the best of me. As corny as this may seem, I am finding my music is helping me. I therefore created a mix that I listen to almost daily to remind myself to keep my head high. I figured I would share some words that pulling me up tall and strong.

“Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.” (Daughtry, Over You)

“One of me is wiser, One of me is stronger, One of me's a fighter ,And there's a thousand faces of me
And we're gonna rise up, Yeah we're gonna rise up, For every time you wronged me, Well you're gonna face an army, army of me” (Christina Aguilera, Army of Me)

“What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Stand a little taller, Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, Footsteps even lighter, Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger, Just me, myself and I, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, Stand a little taller, Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone” (Kelly Clarkson, Stronger)“

The Home Stretch

    I am officially due in a month with our baby boy. I am excited to meet my little angel and to no longer be pregnant :) However, I feel like the last month is the longest time of the pregnancy because you know your so close and it makes you think about it all the time. However, your little one will arrive when its good and ready and you have no clue when that will be unfortunately. I think discomfort also plays a huge part in the waiting game because you officially become uncomfortable, swollen, and ready to have the baby on the outside of your body. I feel badly for my daughter because I cannot be active with her outside when playing and let's face it, I cannot even get on the floor with her either. I think she is very understanding most of the time, but I am sure to a four year old that a pregnancy must seem like eternity (I mean it does to me!). I honestly believe my biggest fear throughout this pregnancy was how my little girl would react to a new edition to the family. She is the apple of our eye and will always remain, but I know she will feel a little left out when he arrives. I am constantly telling her how much I love her and how important she is to daddy and I. I try to discuss the changes with her over and over to get her prepared even though she is going to have to accept the changes whether she likes it or not ;)
   I am already so thrilled that my parents are so involved in my daughter's life and I am even more thrilled to know that my son will also get the chance for that relationship. My grandmother is 94 and I was so excited to have  her at my wedding, and to have her know my daughter these past four years. I cannot believe that she will now be able to meet my son. I am so blessed by God to have such amazing parents and such an amazing family. I thank God daily for all my blessings because you can never be too appreciative. I think as I have grown, married and had children, I have truly been able to stop and see all the blessings in my life. I know for a fact that I did not see them all before and I regret that now. My daughter has changed my life in so many amazing ways, that I feel blessed that God is giving me another baby.
    I sometimes think I sound like a burned out pregnant mama, so I have to remind my friends and family that there is more in my life than looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. I know many women love being pregnant, blah blah (no offense to anyone) but I completely don't agree with you. I think it is a hardship you endure to receive an amazing blessing, and you have every right to be moody, bitchy and ready in the end. I think that is why epidurals were invented because we are at the end of our rope by the end!

3 1/2 and almost 8 Months

     I figured it was only appropriate to not just discuss being a mom to my daughter but also being pregnant with baby number 2. I have to say that three has been a scary age because of the mood swings, tantrums and independence. However, it is also wonderful because it is the age when I can finally have a conversation with my daughter and truly feel a connection of mutual understanding (when she chooses to that is). We can share more activities together and she is able to help me with all different things. I am pretty sure that the fun of cleaning with mommy or daddy will wear off, but I will enjoy it while it lasts. A typical day in my house is my daughter Irelyn waking up around 7AM and arriving at my bedside with a pajama top or nightgown without any underpants. It is followed by her asking me to assist her with putting on her Cinderella or Snow White dress up dresses on her. That is usually my que to get out of bed and begin my day. I use to pop out of bed and begin my morning routine, but now being about 8 months pregnant I am moving a little slower. Thankfully I have a very helpful daughter that understands when mommy tells her, "Irelyn you need to help mommy because I cannot bend over". She loves to tell me how my belly looks like a balloon that is going to pop (that's the way to make mommy feel awesome). She climbs into her car seat on her own (big help since lifting her up and angling her in the backseat can be a challenge right now). Why we are discussing the car I should probably mention EVERY time we get into the car I am prompted to put on her "princess music" (which is a collection of Disney princess songs I compiled on a CD for the car-thinking this was a bad idea now). I think my husband and I can recite every song in our sleep. However, when you hear her sing along to the songs you cannot help but smile.
        I think four is a good age to welcome another baby into our home and I am excited and a little scared to see how Irelyn will react to welcoming a new baby brother. She enjoys feeling the baby kick and watching my belly move. She also is testing the waters asking where the baby will be in the car and if he will he block her view out the window (of course very serious concerns). She has many helpful suggestions like having the baby sit in the trunk of the car as opposed to "her" backseat. When mommy now goes shopping, the clothing is not only for her but for the baby. When I try to be enthusiastic and ask her if he will look good in outfits, she gives a quick, yeah! However, when we wants to go to the store or get a new outfit or toy she suggests we go out to buy something for the baby (I have a to say a clever idea). I sometimes think I am over thinking and worrying about the transition for her, especially when I schedule her birthday party for a week after my due date.

Being Pregnant Round 2

    I remember getting pregnant with my daughter and being nervous, anxious and excited all at once. The morning sickness was awful and didn't end until at least 5 months of pregnancy and overall the pregnancy was in no means super easy. However, now that I am four months pregnant with baby #2 I am realizing some distinct differences in my pregnancies. I felt bad to admit that I wasn't as excited with the second one as I was with my daughter. It does not mean I have less love but the morning sickness and taking care of a three year old made life a little different. The sickness has been much worse this second time around and of course I know exactly what to expect this time around. I also don't have the luxury to sleep all the time and relax while dealing with pregnancy sickness because I had to be a mother. I think I also got an extra dose of scared shitless this time around since I would now have two children. As I now get a slight let up from the intense sickness I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel which is nothing less than inspiring. I honestly still believe that the process itself of having a second child is much scarier because I know what TO expect this time around. It also is slightly inspiring because I know what to expect. Needless to say I don’t think I will EVER understand women who never felt a day of morning sickness during pregnancy. I have friends who were privileged to experience an “unrealistic fairytale pregnancy” and I say the same thing to them. You Have NO Idea! Thankfully I wasn’t alone in my woes because my rock star mother had similar (actually much worse) pregnancy sickness experiences. Her companionship and understanding felt like sunshine during a tornado. In lieu of sounding negative of cynical I will say I am excited to find out the sex of the baby at the end of the month and I am excited for the next experiences having another baby brings! (through sanity and insanity) ;) 

The Perfect Life?

      If you’re a working mother, you already know the woes of not being able to dedicate your life 100% to your child. You have probably had to explain that mommy has to go to work, and go through ripping them out of your arms so you can leave. Its heart wrenching and almost seems unnatural. Sure, you would love to be a home all the time, but in some cases it’s not feasible, or you’re a mother who truly enjoys her job and working. You are allowed to enjoy work and should not feel guilty about it if you do. Although we are mothers we are also human beings and need stimulation to keep ourselves happy. I realized you’re also allowed to enjoy that fact that work is a life separate from home. I love coming home to my daughter and the comfort of being out of the office and home, however home has responsibilities as does work. My day doesn’t end when I walk through the door because the other part of my day begins. Let me take you into my world…

My day begins with the alarm or my daughter waking me up and then trying to get her dressed while she is projecting a cranky mood. Meanwhile I am thinking in my head, “Sweetie I don’t want to get dressed and moving anymore than you, but guess what, you are!” Then I fight to do her hair praying she will watch TV for a moment and sit still. I throw in a waffle, yell for my husband to get up and jump in the shower. I get dressed, do my hair, while telling my daughter a three year old is not allowed to wear eye liner, and no it’s not a paint brush. I rush around looking for food and caffeine and attempt to feed her breakfast. Then it is out the door while running in once of twice for the phone I forgot or the fundraiser packet due. After dropping off at my parents or preschool it’s off to work. On the car ride to work, I begin to switch my brain out of frazzled mommy to my” To Do” list for the day in the office. After arriving home, it is back to the home life of cooking, cleaning, and parenting to name a few. If you’re a wife, then you’re trying to balance time or communication with your husband. I will be the first to admit that being a parent takes a toll on your marriage. At my job I am answering to many people and being pushed and pulled in fifty directions. When I arrive home, I am have a husband and child wanting my attention and relying on me to take care of them. It can be EXHAUSTING! I admit I don’t always respond the best way, and a lot of the times my child is the only one that gets my attention because she is still little. When my daughter goes to bed, I sit down and take a breath. Then I begin to think of all the little things I need to get done before bed. The list runs through my head; laundry, yellow shirt for school tomorrow, clothes for work, clean up the kitchen, feed the cats, clean the litter….and shoot I know there was more. After the completion of my list, I get an hour (more if I want to wake up tired) to myself. It usually is watching a DVR show I never have time to watch, or finishing up a book for the mere pleasure of hearing silence. There goes the alarm, and the day begins again.

**DISCLAIMER**every mom has a day like I do it just consists of different routines whether they work or not.

It actually makes me tired to read my large paragraph of my day, but in actuality I wouldn’t change my life if I could. I love being a mom and wife and most of the time I enjoy my job.  The main thing that I know I need to survive is support. My support is my friends, my family and my husband. What is the perfect life? I don’t think it exists…I think we make it as perfect as we want it to be by the way we live and handle everything it offers to us both good and bad. Some days are bad, the next day is usually better.

Preschool Girl

  This is the first year Irelyn has attended preschool in a 3's class. She goes twice a week for 2 1/2 hours and adores it. She has an amazing teacher and aide and truly looks forward to each day she goes to preschool. The major hurtle at the moment is leaving preschool. Many kids  usually are timid and don't want to leave mom or dad when dropped off, but since day 1 my daughter literally tells me to leave. When we leave preschool it is a crying tantrum. I guess she is a little too much like her mother ;) I have to say as hard as it was to see her grow up and begin preschool, I love seeing all the things she brings home from school every time she attends. I love her excitement and I have a collage of her days on our fridge.  I am please we masted potting training and now have her in a great social learning situation. The next item to tackle is her little 3 year old attitude. "Mommy, I don't want to!", "Mommy I can do it myself!" or just simply "No!". The stress doesn't stop with Mommy because Daddy, and her grandparents and feeling her attitude also. It can be very trying some days but usually it is nipped quickly and we get to enjoy our little girl's amazing personality and kind heart. I think three is a hard age because they want to gain independence and we are not use to it quite yet. They still need help and supervision and they tend to disagree. I have overwhelming days, but then the perfect days make up for it. I  have joked with some friends that I think the main word I say daily is "No". When I read some of my first blog posts is makes my head spin on how fast she has grown. I try to enjoy each milestone with the hurtles they bring because they grow up too fast.

Bared To You Review

After loving the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy I embarked on reading a book identical to Fifty Shades of Grey called Bared To You by Sylvia Day. I enjoyed the Shades of Grey books because of the romance, and passion. It was unlike any of the books I normally read, and I couldn't put them down. I was disappointed when I finished them in five days, so I sought out to find more books similar. I stumbled across this NY Times Bestseller, and I really enjoyed it. The differences (which are few) from Bared to You and Fifty Shades of Grey in my opinion is the description and writing. I think that Sylvia Day is a better writer, and the female character in the book is much stronger and independent compared to the female Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey.

When I began the book I seriously looked at my husband and said, this is the same story with different characters? Oh well, it was still interesting so I continued. However I began to enjoy it because the description is more vivid but with less words, and the male is described more in this book. I enjoyed that fact that the main female was not as weak or clueless as Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey. I also liked the fact that both main characters both had their own pasts that joined them closer. I don't want to spoil the story, but if you liked Fifty Shades of Grey, I would recommend trying Bared to You. She is coming out with the second book to this series in October 2012. In case anyone was wondering, I still loved the Fifty Shades trilogy. 

Insanity is Part of Life

     I dedicate this blog to all my friends who feel they have to preface their venting with "I really love my kids, and I would never hurt them". You are allowed to vent and let off some steam and fellow mothers have no room to judge.

I am positive every mother has had moments that they want to pull their hair out or run out of the house screaming. I look at my  beautiful three year old daughter and think, "Oh my gosh, I am going to kill you if you do that one more time!" The truth is that your normal for feeling that way and if you didn't I think most of the moms would probably hate you. My friends who are pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant are excited for the pregnancy, holding your first child, finding the attributes they inherited and watching them grow into adults. That is all wonderful, but the truth of the reality is you will feel insane probably half of that time. It is the way of life for a mother. The harsh truths I have realized;

-You and insanity will spend many days and nights together, so you might as well get comfy.
-From womb to your death, you will worry about your children.
-Say goodbye to sleep because you have no idea when you truly will get it back-so get find your favorite caffeine product and accept it.
-Spit up, food, lollipop, snot, poop, pee and throw up will always get on your clothes
-You will in fact sound like your mother at one point or another
-You are outnumbered even with one child, they are a hell of a lot smarter than they may look
-Sometimes if you can't beat them, just join them, it can be fun in a strange way
-Wine is a great remedy for "I want to scream and jump out of my skin" syndrome (its proven)
-You will know the words to Mickey Mouse, Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank for awhile, and they will run on repeat when your praying for silence.
-If anyone tries to wake up your sleeping child, they could possibly be harmed
-It is okay to vent to your friends without justifying anything, trust us we get it!
-Right when you think you  have it down, something will change 
-Make sure you have two friends (could be the same one). One to cry, scream, laugh and ask advice to, and one to go out to have adult beverages with to forget your a mom (but don't get too drunk or you may feel like your pregnant again with morning sickness the next day)
-Finally, the terrible two's are a myth, three is worse, so get ready!

Fifty Shades of Gray Playlist

I love to read with music, and I put together my Fifty Shades playlist! Thought I would share ;)

Edge of Desire- John Mayer
Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran
Learning to Breathe- Switchfoot
Paperweight- Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk
The Scientist- Coldplay
This Year's Love- David Gray
Break Me Down- Tenth Avenue
I've Got You Under My Skin- Frank Sinatra
Somewhere Only We Know- Keane
Witchcraft- Frank Sinatra
Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
Destiny- Zero 7
I Love You- Sarah McLachlan
Dirty- Christina Aguilara
No Ordinary Love- Sade
Toxic- Britney Spears
Poison & Wine- The Civil Wars
Claire De Lune- Claude Debussy
I Touch Myself- Divinyls
Comedown- Bush
Undisclosed Desires- Muse
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room -John Mayer
Shadow Days- John Mayer
Try- Nelly Furtado
Wild Horses- The Sundays

24 Préludes, Op. 28, No. 4 in E Minor: Largo- Chopin

Sail Away- David Grey 
 One in a Million- Aaliyah

Mrs. Attitude #2

       Anyone who has a daughter has to love the dress up, pretty dresses, princess movies and all the trimmings. It is intoxicating because personally it brings me back to my childhood. When I say that I mean it literally since my daughter has apparently inherited my attitude childhood behaviors. Sometimes you just want to smile, but you have to mask it so they cannot see it. Then other times you loose it and say comments like, "I am done with the attitude!" following with a threat of a punishment. As I walk into my bedroom to take a breathe and look in the mirror I realize, Shit! I am my mother! When did this happen? It allows me to appreciate my parents much more than I ever did. I also realized the harsh realization that my daughter is TRULY my daughter. Never stops talking, its super outgoing, and adventurous. It sometimes makes me proud because it is an amazing thing to watch your child grow, live and learn. Anyway, back to my little Miss Attitude, what happened to my sweet angel?! (She is still super sweet and polite) but sometimes I look at her and think, your going to make me grow more gray hair!

My favorite is when she is mocking me because it is hilarious. She walks into my room in the morning and says, "Mommy you stay in bed, and if not you go in time out!! (then proceeds to stomp off and come back), Okay Mommy Fine! You go to time out, your being  a naughty girl!" Oh my goodness it makes my head spin. It is a dictatorship, not a democracy when it comes to parenting (I repeat this in my head many times). Oh and the attitude when we are not happy and didn't get our way begins with pouting. Then the fake tears and throwing ourselves down as if I crushed her hopes and dreams. Miss Attitude. I am providing a warning label for parents before their child turns 3- watch out! ha ha!

Potty Training....oh my

Well my daughter (now 3 yrs old) has begun officially and successfully potty training. I have to say the experience is definitely not one I fully enjoy. It a round the clock reminder, "Irelyn come on let's try and go potty", and it seems that men don't seem to be as consistent with it as women. It may be a mother thing, but I am always thinking about what she is drinking, when and when she went potty last. However the icing on the cake is that she uses as it excuse to get out of bed after bedtime. "Mommy! Mommy! I have to go potty" and then she is all giggly and excited when she gets into the bathroom like she is thinking "Ha ha fooled you again! Score!" It has become a normal conversation around my house to discuss peeing and pooping. I never get the privacy to use the potty alone because Irelyn wants to see and learn. However, she tries it with Daddy and to try and explain to a three year old that Daddy has different parts is just not happening. Therefore, we distinguish boys and girls and only girls can go together (I am sure this will stick with her threw life due to the fact that females go in groups to the bathroom). Then when she goes, we have to put on a song and dance of excitement to encourage her. I sometimes have to look at my husband and remind him, "Babe look thrilled and praise her please". Crazy enough the most frustrating part is toilet paper and flushing the toilet. She always wants to use copious amounts of toilet paper simply for fun and flush the toilet a million times. I am sure my water bill will reflect my daughter's excited for flushing.

At first I was against the pull up since it was like a diaper, but since my daughter goes to my parents three days a week, they didn't feel like cleaning up messes. I do think the pull up feels a lot like a diaper, however she can pull it on and off when using the potty. I am hoping on my weekends with her to try and use underpants and get my carpet cleaner ready. I find myself saying to my co-workers (who are all men), I have to go potty, be right back. Thankfully most of them have kids and they don't pick up on it always. I had purchased the Elmo Potty DVD awhile ago in hopes potty training would begin sooner,  however it is hard to watch. I mean imagine a 45 minute movie talking about all the different words for bowl movements and discussing how they come out. Oh the beauties of being a mother!

Fifty Shades of Happiness

I had many friends tell me, "YOU HAVE TO READ Fifty Shades of Grey" it is amazing! I knew the overall tone of the book from the media and friends. I was hesitant to read it because I figured it was all soft porn or too kinky for my style of reading. Needless to say I gave in a began to read the first book. I finished it in a day and a half. I literally could not put it down! The character description and detailed moment by moment scenes were written perfectly. However, it is kind of kinky, full of sex, passion and love. It is a love story with a decent amount of passion, love and crazy sex. However, I found myself in love with the way the author wrote the book. She painted the main characters beautifully with every small detail and a vivid look into their thoughts and emotions. I laugh because my mother called me and said she heard on the news they called the series "Mommy Porn". I guess you could say that in one way, but when I think of porn I think of kinky sex with no passion, love or relationship. It is simply sex to arouse people, and yes the vivid scenes in the books may have that affect on people. However they are more than just sex (although there a lot of that). I like to give books the benefit of the double and read them cover to cover before making an opinion. I felt awakened by this book. It made me remember passion, dedication, love, and reading some crazy sexual scenes for the first time in a book.

I believe the main character Christian Grey appeals to women in so many ways:
-He is described as a Greek God, very attractive and Rico Swave
-He is screwed up mentally from a horrific childhood but is working through his fears
-He has an incredible love and dedication from his heart for Ana
-He is always concerned with her well being and making sure she is happy
-He has a kinky, crazy side which is simply a turn on

I am currently half way through the last book, and anxiously anticipating finishing it this weekend.

It has hit the $20million mark and surpassed Harry Potter book sales ;)
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2012/07/50-shades-of-grey-series-20-million-sold.html

New House!

I am happy to say that my family and I finally moved into our new house! We now live in Cochranville, PA which is near Parkesburg, PA out in Southern Chester County. We live near farms, fields and it is wonderful. We also live in a fifty five and older community and I know your probably thinking, "What?! That is so strange, how and why?" Well 25% has to be under fifty five, and we are not the only younger family living there. Also I am in love with my neighbors and the entire development. We have an indoor/out door pool (it is mainly indoors but the entire pool is surrounded with sliding glass doors if you want to let in the outdoor air, etc.) We also have an amazing workout center, and today I finally began working out to loose my extra added weight :(  I think my husband and our favorite parts about our new house is having our backyard, and open space. I am desperately in love with the space and all the extra amenities because it has felt like we have lived in close quarters in our previous homes. An extra perk is that I live about half a mile from my work, which is very nice ;) So to all our friends and family, please come by for a visit!

 

Big Doggy

   I realize that  many people's pets feel like their "children", and I think that is great for them. We have two cats and I love them, but they are easy and keep to themselves a lot. Although I like some dogs, I don't overall prefer to every own one. As any other mother, I do not want my daughter to be scared of someone's dog, and many times she cannot completely relax with a dog in the room. This stems from a negative experience she had with a family member's dog trying to come at her face numerous times. I honestly can see why that is terrifying and may deter her from opening her arms to any dog who comes her way. She has been taught to ask the owner before you pet or attempt to pet any animal. However, since he past negative experiences, she is genuinely scared of dogs at times.Whattoexpect.com says, "Fears are common at this age, and it's not unusual for a toddler to be wary, even scared, of dogs. Unlike babies, toddlers also have better memories and may be affected by a previous negative experience (like a nip of the fingers by an excited puppy)."

As a mother, I am the mama bear, and if your dog attacks my child then it will have to experience my wrath, which I could not tell you exactly what that would be, but it would be bad.  I should preface by saying I like dogs a lot, and I am not a hater. I am a concerned and pissed off parent. If my child is at your house for a visit or for any reason and she is petrified of your dog (or anyone for that matter) I think it is common curtsey to try and put the dog in another room, outside or away from your guests. If you don't agree, then maybe you shouldn't invite children, or anyone who is not madly in love with dogs to come over. My first concern is my child, and I will protect her in any way, shape or form. It highly annoys me when people/family are annoyed that your child (who is smaller than your dog) is afraid. What if you met a dog larger than yourself? I bet you would be scared too. Thankfully my daughter is growing up and learning that she can trust some dogs and she is very excited to see one. I just made a personal decision that I am now going to speak out when I am put in another situation.-Thoughts from a ticked mom ;)  Please comment and share your opinion

Approaching 3

It has been an amazing year with my daughter and watching her enormous growth in knowledge, life, learning and growing into her own personality. It literally amazes me some days the things that come out of her mouth and to see how she interrupts and see's the world. I was nervous about the second year because every says, "Oh God the terrible two's are awful!". As a first time parent, naturally I was preparing for the worst. However, the two's were easy breezy. As I embark on the three's, I feel the need to stock up my wine collection ;) Of course I love every age and watching her grow as a person, but let me tell you that three is going to be a challenge. In order to illustrate exactly what I am saying, I would like to take you through some recent conversations between my daughter and I:

"Mommy! Just relax and calm down!" (as she whispers and motions with her arms to calm myself)

"nǐ hǎo Mommy! That's hello in Chinese!" (my eyes are looking at her trying to figure out if she just spoke in Chinese or if it was my imagination)

I walk into the room where she is playing with her dolls and over hear the following;
" Listen to mommy, ABCDEFG,HIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, now we know our ABC's, next time sing with me! Good job! Okay now we have to go sleepies......No no you have to go to sleep......Don't be naughty! your going to go in time out!"

A Daily Communication: "Mommy PLLLLEEEAASSEEE, please mommy!"

"Mommy, I tell you a story...Once upon a time a princess lived in a BLUE castle and a big GREEN dragon came!"

"Daddy!, Daaadddyyy!  JON!, Jon!!!!"

"Mommy, Grandad and I are going to the store, we will be back in 5 minutes, ok? You stay here and don't worry we will be back soon, bye!"

The list could continue forever because everything is just hilarious, maybe because she is my little baby and now she has conversations and opinions! However with knowledge, understand and opinions comes attitude. Let me tell you that drama and attitude go hand and hand. If you don't have a discipline system worked out by now your screwed. They can smell fear I have decided, so I am rock solid in what I will not accept, and sometimes it helps and sometimes nothing helps. She knows the foods she likes and tends to try and demand them, and then move onto the next parent or authority figure to get it behind the other's back.
It is amazing being a parent and I love the fact she understands me and everything now, but she is EXACTLY like her mama, which is scary and means my mom got her wish that I would have a daughter just like me ;)

Parenting the Princess

I am not one to gloat or say my child is the smartest child on earth (she actually is though), but my little monster, I am sorry I mean princess, is blowing my mind away these days. First off it is best I explain recent events in my family life. My family and I recently embarked on finding a new home and have vacated our previous home and are now living with my parents for two months. It is exciting because it is a much bigger house which is 1/2 a mile from my work and also about three minutes from my stepson. It also is exciting because it is way out in Southern Chester County (for those not in PA, the country/amish area). I am really excited for the beautiful ambiance of the country. I have to admit my biggest fear (besides living with my parents, haha) was my daughter being able to adjust to all the changes. My daughter has a very structured life, which my husband and I worked hard on establishing. It became more prevalent when he and I noticed other parents were know flip flopping their kids from one house and person to another. She naps and has bedtime the same time every night and we are blessed to have my parents as our day care.

Months ago my daughter and I went to visit my friend in NC, and it was a rough trip. The change was apparently too much to handle and we cut our trip short for mommy's sanity. I do not life the fact that she is not use to traveling, but due to work and other conditions, we have not been able to travel much since she has been born. This past weekend we moved out of our place and in with my parents, and the experience broke my heart a little. I decided to take my daughter to see our empty house to see we did not live there anymore, and she laid on the porch and cried.....yes it was not one of my favorite moments. When I come home from work, she says, "Mommy can we go home! Please?", and I have to explain to an almost 3yr old why we cannot. My mother's words though seem to ring true, wherever the I am with her she is fine. She is slowly but surely adjusting, and I think enjoying having attention from four adults throughout the day. I now fear moving into the new house in two months because she will have to re-adjust yet again, but hopefully its just my nerves.

She is truly the light in my day everyday, and part of that is because she is hilarious. I look down at her little face and see myself as a child. She is CLEARLY my child with the constant talking and energy. It amazes me that she and I have actual conversations, and have had them for awhile. It still amazes me how little she is and how much she picks up. She is probably the most polite child you have ever met (and its not because I am a super stickler with manners, although I think they are important.) She knows to always say, Please, Thank You, God Bless You, and I'm Sorry. Sometimes the manners can be overwhelming especially when the conversation goes, "Mommy can I have a cookie, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" and I say No, and it continues with "Please Mommy, Please Mommy". Another funny moment is when she yells for my husband and says, "Daddy! Daddy!" and then he doesn't respond and she begins, "Jon! Jon!".

Despite the day's daily stresses, I know I have my princess to run to me as I walk in the door. Those moments make up for all the hair pulling moments of insanity.