Today my stepson Shawn came over for his first sleepover with us since our daughter was born. Shawn is autistic (aspbergers syndrome) and is nine years old, but acts like a small child. The interesting part is that he is on a 11th grade reading level, and is so smart its scary. He adores Baby Einstein, and he and his little sister watched one today together. It was so strange to see them both watching and enjoying it together. She is almost 3 months and he is 9, and he was playing with her toys all afternoon in complete delight. When I married my husband, I took it upon myself to read books on autism and try and understand Shawn so I could have a good relationship with him....its been rough, not just because of the autism, but just being a stepmom and having different parenting skills than his mother. Throughout my pregnancy I always pondered how Shawn would be with the baby. I knew he would be kind and gentle, but I was very curious. His first day with her, (she was about a month and a half or so), he was on cloud nine cause she had great toys and wasn't old enough to use them. He entertained himself for hours. He took her toys and put them all around her and read her a book....it was priceless. Today, he could have cared less about the baby, but was more interested in her toys. When she went through a screaming spell, he was not affected. We got into the car to go to dinner and I asked him to be on binky duty in the backseat. If she wanted it, he was in charge of putting it in her mouth. He wasn't too into it, but he did help with it a couple times. When we got home this evening I had to give the baby a quick bath, and I asked Shawn to help, but instead he watched briefly. She smiled the whole time because she loves being around him. Then I had to give him a bath. It was so ironic, I mean nothing has changed behavior wise with him, but to have an infant and to have to take care of my stepson in similar ways just opened my eyes.
It was almost like I finally got a clear understanding of Shawn, and a key hole into his world. He will always be the way he is, and hopefully as he grows he will be able to handle the world a little easier. In the meantime, having them both is exhausting, but rewarding. I have met women with numerous autistic children, and read books and I cannot how they handle it all. They are their kids and they love them, its simple. Stress wise, it has to be trying on their nerves. I think I would have a hard time if I had to have Shawn and Irelyn. I give kudos to those mom's with autistic children, especially more than one. I love Shawn and he has taught me so much about life and the different ways to look at it.
No comments:
Post a Comment