The hardship of taking on the decision of your stepchild

This blog is more about someone else, but I do understand and have experienced a similar situation. What do you do when your a mom and you have you own children, but you are concerned about the well being of your stepchild? It is a lot to take on considering people cannot make the right decisions always based on the best interest of their children. As a mom you have to put your child first before you own needs, regardless of how tired or burnt out you get. You may want to go out with your friends for the night, or away for the weekend, but you have a child, and you can't. It sounds like a burden, but the truth is it is not a burden for many moms. Sure you miss the independence of even running out to the store to grab something alone, or get invited out and be able to pick up and go. When you become a mother you abandon your own wants and needs and do what is best for your kids. This also means you can't bring your kids along with you on excursions as well. Yes you take your child shopping, to the grocery store, doctor appointments, etc. However you don't bring your child to the bar, club or on a date (depending on your situation). You don't take your children into a situation that may scar them or affect them in the long run. Why? because your a mother, and you need to put your child first.

It is very hard to deal with your own life, children, job and countless other issues and then fight in court for your stepchild. The decision is a difficult one to make, because lets face it, many people will refuse to identify their shortcomings, and think of the best interest of their child. It is true that every situation is different, so please don't get me wrong. Some parents abuse, and mistreat their children and the void of the father or mother figure is a blessing. However when the other parents is very loving and willing to be in the child's life, why not? It goes back to our own feelings and resentment, not our children. Which means you need to put aside your own feelings for the best of the child. How do you make someone do that? You can't, that is why so many people turn to the court system. Is our court system a problem solver or a huge burden? I believe the court system has failed many especially in this issue. If it costs thousands and causes drama and grief than why would your knowingly use the system? It is because people cannot identify what is right for their child.

I myself have a stepson who is autistic, and it is a very big job taking care of him. I have always have sympathy and respect for his mother. There had been times when we experianced what was right and wrong for Shawn and how to figure it out. It became messy at times, which caused more stress than you can imagine. I always felt like a ref in a game between my husband and his ex, and then I joined in the game. It was all negative and wrong. It was a pointless slam at one another's parenting skills and decisions. When we finally all agreed to play nice and communicate and get along for Shawn's sake, things changed dramatically. They changed for the better. Now both my husband and I get along great with his ex, and we all communicate the best needs for Shawn. He lives with her full time, and now we all have become friends in the process. I cannot begin to tell you how nice it is, and how looking back I now see all the things we all did wrong. I have such sympathy for everyone who has to go through these tough issues and decisions. The court system fails us constantly, and unfortunately many people do not change. Therefore you are stuck with very few options that all cause stress, heartache and anger. Children are so innocent and unaware of the hardships of life which makes them so beautiful. It is such a shame to have them become aware of everything before it is time for them to learn all the dirty truths about life.