Friend on Demand

I think we all have experienced this one time or another with a so called "friend", but it seems that recently a few friends of mine and I have bumped into this similar experience, especially since we are home more with our babies. That one friend who calls to talk to you, but really they call just to vent to you. This normally would be fine, because they are your friend, and that is what friend's do, they listen. However, if this person has not seen you in months and only calls when drama hits the fan in their life, is it still a friend conversation? or has it become a friend on demand? I personally have many out of town friends, which I talk to on the phone maybe once every other week to keep in touch, and they may call if something awful or stressful has happened in their life, and vs. verse. I am talking about that girlfriend who may call you cause she has no one to hang out with, or calls you when she wants to vent about her life. If it is clearly a friend on demand situation, do you tell them how you really feel? That you don't appreciate being called only when they want to fret, or when they are bored? I mean do you really want to hear about the stress of someone else's life when they feel compelled?

I find that as we move through the milestones of life, we change as people. I mean I use to go out drinking and clubbing, and I had certain friend's who liked doing that and some who did not. I use to have time to hear all about every one's drama and help them solve it. Now, I am not the clubber any longer, and I do not go out drinking like I did in college. My life has changed. I have gotten married, had a baby, and taken on a lot of responsibility. I am sure we all have, and as we age we fall out of touch with our younger ways (which can be a blessing sometimes). In a way facebook is sort of nice, because we can keep up with all the exciting moments in our old classmates or friend's lives. You may not admit it, but you can view someones life every week on facebook and hardly every converse with them, and it is kind of nice. We are all busy with our own lives each day, but it gives you a chance to watch your old friend's move along with their lives. You also have the luxury to get back to people when you have free time.

I cannot speak for everyone else, but I have a large heart. I feel that if someone is calling me with issues they need to discuss, I will listen and be there. However, I am getting tired of being overly kind in these situations. So how to you end the cycle without being overly cruel? If I could speak my mind I would say, "I am too busy to listen to your problems, when my family and real friends have problems I must be there for. I am tired, I have a baby crying and things to do, and your not worth my time any longer" I feel many friends on demand don't come over or meet you out often unless they are the ones calling you just when they want to go out. It's frustrating and I don't know about anyone else, but I feel I am getting too old to deal with it. Any thoughts???