Perfect Moments

I have so many untouchable moments being a mother, and these moments are the most precious memories that I will ever experience. My daughter blesses me with these moments that a camera is never around to capture, and I pray to God that I will always remember them and keep them inside my heart. When I first got to hold her in the NICU in the hospital, she looked up at me and stared at my face for about thirty minutes, as if she was saying, " Your my mommy, and I finally get to see your face". I remember the first time she genuinely smiled at me while I was holding her in my arms. I was telling her how beautiful she was and she looked up at me and smiled. Since she was born, before she would go to sleep at night, I have held her and put my hand on her face and stroked her hair on her forehead. She stares into my eyes until she fell asleep, and I cherish this moment every evening. She began grabbing my fingers and looking at my hands as she would lie in my arms, and still does this every evening. I think my favorite times with her are when she wakes up in the morning, and she is so excited to see me come into her room and say good morning. Also when she gets out of the bathtub and I dry her off and dress her, she giggles and laughs. She loves this time of the day and therefore she has made it one of my favorites.

Every day I find another moment she and I share, that I want to capture and hold within my heart. She has changed who I am as a woman, and a person in this world. I cannot imagine life without her, and I am so privileged to be given the role of being a mother. No one can explain any of these feelings or privileges to someone who has not experienced this first hand. I always thought that was almost a cruel comment to make to people who don't have children or want them, but unfortunately it is the truth. Through all the exhaustion, spit up, poopy diapers and having to surrender any independent life you may have had, it is hands down completely worth it. As in my last entry, which shared some of my deeper feelings of the changes Irelyn has brought to my life, I will forever be a different person. I never realized how much every moment of life changes us as people, and changes our opinions and personalities. Our marriages will always change, and we will change, and it is all about embracing those changes and learning and loving them through good and bad.