Post baby blues? or Mommy needs some mommy time?

I know everyone says your life changes when you have a baby because they rely on you 24-7. I know many women suffer from post partum, which thankfully I have not. However, despite all the happiness in my life through watching my daughter grow, I feel a little down. I am still looking for a job which keeps us so financially strapped I couldn't really go out if I wanted to. I just feel like I never get mommy time. I am constantly doing laundry, washing bottles, taking care of my baby and worrying about life, that I no longer get me time. When I do get those rare moments out alone, I am usually worried because I am texted baby questions or guilt tripped for going out, which seems unfair. Despite these feelings, again we almost can't pay bills, so its not like I can go out to a movie or for cocktails. I sometimes feel like my mind is withering away because all my day is consumed with my baby.

I almost feel badly writing about this because I adore Irelyn, and she has changed my life in so many wonderful ways. I just need some occasional time for myself for even a couple hours to give my head a break. My girlfriends always have to come to me because I have the baby, which is frustrating sometimes because I am cooped up always in my house. I have become an Internet addict due to the fact that it is my only outlet into the real world. I keep thinking I should be learning to cook better, or making cookies all day or being Mrs. Housewife and mother, but I have no inspiration. I do all my motherly and wifely duties (well the wifely duties to an extent), but I keep have very down moments where I feel like all I do is be a mom. I miss seeing movies and going out to dinner, and being able to go to a concert or do something fun. I hate this economy and how hard it has been to find a job. I am considering going back to grad school just because I haven't found work yet.

I feel so fortunate on the other hand to have these months and time with my daughter. When I got pregnant I always knew I would have to leave her to go back to work, which I haven't yet, which is so nice but also burdening. I am not a housewife TV junkie, I am actually sick of TV. I love to read but my concentration seems shot lately, so it is difficult. I know all I can do is hope and pray for things to get better and sit back and enjoy my daughter. I just wish I could have some time each week for myself, which I don't think will ever happen at this point.