My Daughter....My Best Friend

I look back at the pictures of my pregnancy and I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to have a baby girl. When I first saw her in my arms, I knew my life would never be the same. As every mother, the first couple months are a complete shock in your life, schedule, sleep, and emotions. The first year I felt like I was an onlooker into my daughter's life and all her milestones. After she turned a year old, the milestones included me in some way, and motherhood changed. It didn't become better, and I didn't feel like my bond became stronger than it already had been. I saw myself in her, and I saw the beauty of her discovering this world one day at a time. Every day I am excited to go into her room and see her smiling face and feel her hugs and kisses. It is better than anything I had every experienced in this world. The other day I sporadically decided to try taking her to a movie (Tangled), and hoping for the best I was prepared for the worst. It was the most amazing time because she sat through the whole movie talking, laughing and sitting on my lap. It was the most moment and memory.

My daughter has been my salvation in this world, but she also teaches me more about myself and who I want to be to her in this life. I pray every night thanking the Lord for blessing me with my new best friend. It is amazing because right next to this amazing experience and life with her, I see my mother more clearly and have begun to appreciate her in a different way. I have started remembering the things she and I did together that were so special to us both. I also am growing into an adult relationship with her. However, I will always be her little girl and daughter, so yes I can still crawl into her arms and cry. For the sake of making this blog entry truth in addition to my warm feelings, the reality is that with all good comes the hard. It is very hard to be a mom sometimes, and sometimes I find myself loosing my temper, needing time away, and forgetting about myself. All I can say is....I can't wait for each new day and to be a part of my daughter's life.