When I was younger I always said, I cannot wait to be a mother. Naturally my mom would say, oh that is nice, but you better wait! I always felt that having my own child would be not only a blessing but something that would complete a part of myself. I feel that my life has a little more clarity now, and it has inspired me to take another look at myself. I think becoming a mom forces you to look at your beliefs and who you are as a person, and who you want to be as a mother. I am Catholic and I have found serenity through life's upsets by turning back to my faith. This isn't a blog about religion, it is just a personal reflection. I think when I was growing up, like many children, church was something you had to do on Sunday. It was sometimes boring, and although I appreciated my faith I don't know if I fully grasped it as I am able to as an adult. I realized that as an adult, you don't have someone to get you up and encourage you to pray or go to church. Your an adult now, and it is your job to take on your own feelings, beliefs and decisions. I have decided to embrace my roots as a Catholic as a guidance for myself and motherhood.
Through the past 8 months, since I had my daughter, I have changed into a new person. Now many may think it is because you can no longer go out when you want, or do what you want because you have responsibilities. That is very true, and sometimes it can wear on you when you really need time to yourself. However, I feel I have become more selfless as a person, because motherhood I think makes you this way. On the downside, I discovered I was forgetting about me because I was putting everything into my daughter. I have to make sure I have some time for me, or it wears down on me. I get overwhelmed without even noticing. I also believe you grow with your child and become more confident and more content with your new life. Every once in a blue moon I will go out past 11pm, and I am exhausted! ha ha! I was never a morning person, but now I have become one against my natural will. I also have discovered gray hair!
Everyone asks me if I am going to have more kids, and I think I would like to, but at this moment I adore my daughter so much, I cannot imagine having anyone but her :)
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